Advice for When Life Isn’t Going According To Plan

I’m a huge podcast fan and often stumble across wise people when I need to hear what they have to say most.

A recent episode of TED’s (as in the famous TED Conferences) How to Be a Better Human brought Kelly Corrigan into my life. Kelly is the author of four New York Times bestselling memoirs whose wit and wisdom have earned her the titles of “The Poet Laureate of the ordinary” and the “voice of a generation”.

There were so many things she talked about in the podcast that resonated for me, but what struck me most, especially as I’ve been thinkig about how neighbors come together to create connection and belonging, is the idea of learning to cultivate asking for help as a super power.

As unlikely as that may sound — because we’ve been taught to believe that asking for help is a weakness or that we’ll be a burden — it’s really a gift.

Here’s what she says:

I think that if you could try this Jedi mind trick, it might help you become more comfortable with it. The mind trick is that you are doing them a favor. So a feeling I had really strongly as soon as I got diagnosed at 36 years old, two kids in diapers, with a seven centimeter tumor, is that asking for help is a gift.

I lived in a very small town and everyone knew within an hour about my diagnosis. That meant I had brought mortality into the room.

And when you bring mortality in the room you better give people something to do.

So if they want to make your pie, or knit you a cap or take your kids to the movies, you let them because they need it. They need it more than you need it.

And their kids need to see this is how you do. This is what community is like.

So the next time you need help, don’t hold back. Take a moment to realize how important — and what a gift it is — to be needed.

To hear more of Kelly’s wisdom, the podcast can be heard here.